We enjoyed our time with Kenny, and today he went back to his city. The kids are especially clingy when we have white faces, and Kenny's coming was no exception. I think Jana called him a "walking jungle gym" or something like that. She is exactly right. :) He put some big smiles on my little ones' faces, and I am extremely thankful. It's amazing how God gives us blessings and provides for our heart's longings even when sometimes we haven't even asked. This visit with Kenny was just that. It was very refreshing for our entire family, and we can only hope that next time he will bring his better half along as well. :) Saying goodbye was tough (don't tell Kenny I cried!!!)
Today was a kinda gloomy day both in the weather and in our thoughts. I am not sure if it was Kenny leaving, the rain, or what...but today was just one of those days. Joel is not feeling well and he went to bed at 9pm tonight. He didn't get normal sleep when Kenny was here, and I guess the weather and the lack of sleep took its toll.
So that leaves me in this dark house writing the blog and sending out a massive email. My goal is to finish in one hour (let's cross our fingers)! I am not feeling completely up to par myself.
A few weeks ago I posted about my "meltdown" and how I was really getting "burnt-out" with many aspects of being here. And then I remembered something that Brian had passed along about rest and relaxation modules. It was on Piper's website and it was saying how in a 7 day week we can think of having 21 modules--1 for morning, 1 for afternoon, and 1 for evening each day. He recommends that in one week's time that you have 7-10 modules of rest and relaxation. So, after just absolute exhaustion I sat down to schedule my weeks and work-in those times. I realized that I have done a very poor job of taking care of myself and giving myself those times that I need. I realized that while as a family we take off one whole day each week and occasional weeknights, I very rarely if ever take time just to myself to enjoy something that I like. Being an introvert, I really need that. And I discovered that I have not felt rested because I have not done that for myself. So I am working on getting that schedule together and keeping it as a priority. I really think that without doing so, I will find myself where I was one month ago.
I am also realizing that while I felt all the pressure of culture and other things weighing down on me, my method was to put it in the back seat and be determined not to let it climb up front. But really in my quiet times I wasn't dealing with all of those things. I just really wanted to forget about it. And when I had time with God, I wanted to enjoy the time and not deal with the "dirty stuff." In doing so, I have a backlog of things that have been hurtful, difficult, and scarring that I have allowed to climb up front when things get tough. And I know now that ignoring those issues are not the route for me. I have to address those things. Even if I can't address them with the stranger in the supermarket, I must bring it before God....confess my selfishness and pride. And I also need to ask for strength to stand as a tall witness when things are difficult. I mean, Christ walked down the road carrying a cross...enduring not only the weight of the cross but also the slurs and spit that were thrown on Him as He did so for us. And to think that I have trouble standing in line at the supermarket... I have a lot of growing to do. :)
We enjoyed our time with Kenny, and today he went back to his city. The kids are especially clingy when we have white faces, and Kenny's coming was no exception. I think Jana called him a "walking jungle gym" or something like that. She is exactly right. :) He put some big smiles on my little ones' faces, and I am extremely thankful. It's amazing how God gives us blessings and provides for our heart's longings even when sometimes we haven't even asked. This visit with Kenny was just that. It was very refreshing for our entire family, and we can only hope that next time he will bring his better half along as well. :) Saying goodbye was tough (don't tell Kenny I cried!!!)
Today was a kinda gloomy day both in the weather and in our thoughts. I am not sure if it was Kenny leaving, the rain, or what...but today was just one of those days. Joel is not feeling well and he went to bed at 9pm tonight. He didn't get normal sleep when Kenny was here, and I guess the weather and the lack of sleep took its toll.
So that leaves me in this dark house writing the blog and sending out a massive email. My goal is to finish in one hour (let's cross our fingers)! I am not feeling completely up to par myself.
A few weeks ago I posted about my "meltdown" and how I was really getting "burnt-out" with many aspects of being here. And then I remembered something that Brian had passed along about rest and relaxation modules. It was on Piper's website and it was saying how in a 7 day week we can think of having 21 modules--1 for morning, 1 for afternoon, and 1 for evening each day. He recommends that in one week's time that you have 7-10 modules of rest and relaxation. So, after just absolute exhaustion I sat down to schedule my weeks and work-in those times. I realized that I have done a very poor job of taking care of myself and giving myself those times that I need. I realized that while as a family we take off one whole day each week and occasional weeknights, I very rarely if ever take time just to myself to enjoy something that I like. Being an introvert, I really need that. And I discovered that I have not felt rested because I have not done that for myself. So I am working on getting that schedule together and keeping it as a priority. I really think that without doing so, I will find myself where I was one month ago. 
I am also realizing that while I felt all the pressure of culture and other things weighing down on me, my method was to put it in the back seat and be determined not to let it climb up front. But really in my quiet times I wasn't dealing with all of those things. I just really wanted to forget about it. And when I had time with God, I wanted to enjoy the time and not deal with the "dirty stuff." In doing so, I have a backlog of things that have been hurtful, difficult, and scarring that I have allowed to climb up front when things get tough. And I know now that ignoring those issues are not the route for me. I have to address those things. Even if I can't address them with the stranger in the supermarket, I must bring it before God....confess my selfishness and pride. And I also need to ask for strength to stand as a tall witness when things are difficult. I mean, Christ walked down the road carrying a cross...enduring not only the weight of the cross but also the slurs and spit that were thrown on Him as He did so for us. And to think that I have trouble standing in line at the supermarket... I have a lot of growing to do. :)
5 comments:
will be lifting you up! :)
Cara, you are so authentic and I love that about you. I look forward to reading your blog each week. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I just quietly thank God for your friendship and for the example you have been to me and my family. Love you!!!
Cara, you are so authentic and I love that about you. I look forward to reading your blog each week. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I just quietly thank God for your friendship and for the example you have been to me and my family. Love you!!!
I too look forward to reading your blog posts and getting your weekly emails. Can't wait to tell you about so many things happening with us and hear what is happening with ya'll! Lifting you both up tonight!
Can you send me the link to the John Piper info about taking time for ourselves? I have a feeling I could use a "telling" to on that subject. :) Thanks friend!
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